- For other articles with related titles, see "Horguz".
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This book is titled "Horguz". It seems to be a journal kept by someone called Horguz the Hoarder where wildly rambles about many of the items he's collected over the years.
Me know how to rite in ledders so me is putting dem in dis book. Me is Horguz but dey say I am duh Hoarder. Its because I have duh best hord in all of dis gobelin house. Horguz kicks skulls of goblins and meenotores who take any of Horguz stuff. Me is gonna rite down sum of his stuff he has.
Me has one of duh things dat is made from metal. Horguz can bend metal with his hands, but dis one bends very fast even with his pinkies. Me thinks it is made from tin. Me is hoping so because me doesn't have dat many things made from tin! Not enuff things is bad!
Me has all of duh swords and duh axes and duh biggie hammers. Me has one of dem dat is all cracked with pretty glass of all kinds of colors on duh bottom. Horguz likes duh pretty glass, so he keep it. Horguz would keep it even if it didn't have glass.
I have small little swords, too, even smaller dan duh ones dat duh gobelins use. I have counted dem and counted dem and counted dem because I have so many of dem. Sometime I have twelve of dem and sometimes I have two hundred of dem. Dey are really tricky like dat.
My favorite thing dat I have is reely small and yellow. It looks like a little bird and it is so funny to look at. When I leave all my treasures behind to go get some water from duh pool, I take dis with me. Sometimes duh little bird will fall in duh water and float around and it makes me laugh and laugh! I WANT MORE OF DESE!
Me have dis thing that is really interesting. It is small and round and made from metal. It kinda looked like a little rock at first. When I put it in a fire to see if it would glow, it began to melt, so I took it out and kept it! Dis is duh neetest thing ever!
Me is having big problem right now keeping all of my stuff. Gobelins see how much stuff I have and dey want it, so dey make meenotores and oduhr wierdo peoples come in and try to take it. Horguz is now losing his stuff, so he puts out all of his silver hoops so people take dem first. Me makes sure to bend dem first so people think dey are valuable first, though.
Me started getting all of my stuff when me was a small meenotaur and found dis skeleton of some fishy-man thingie. From duh top it looked like it was a person but duh bottom looked like a fish. I found two more of dem and took dem home. My papa bull beat me up and said I was stupid. That's when I knew he was jealous, so I kept looking for more stuff from den on.
I keeps getting all of duh gobelins underwheres. I don't want dese! When I go to get duh food to eat from duh troughs I come back and I always get more. Dey are all stinky and I have no more room for dem! I know dose gobelins are putting dem in my hord and I DON'T WANT DEM!My super special thing that I have is dis body of a beastie that I've never seen before. I can put duh body on me and I look like a monster! I have gray skin and dis one big horn that's all straight on my forehead! I like to walk around a scare little gobelins. Den I push dem off duh bridge! HARHAR!